things I’ll never fuck with:
• ouija boards
When a girl says “Make me” that’s secret code for “fuck the shit outta me until I can’t walk or talk straight”
- my bf: *doesnt reply*
- me: [fuck this, I can do so much better than this ashy ass bitch. what am I supposed to do with some lil dick for the rest of my life anyways??? let me call his best friend MATTER OF FACT LET ME CALL HIS BROTHER. he’s not even that cute for me to be stressing over him. only reason I dated him is cause my girl told me to give his lil ugly ass a chance I'm over it tho, next! ha ha!]
- my bf: my bad I had to pee.
- me: I thought you did! wassup babe 😍😛
When i was little i wanted to grow up to be a disney princess but im pretty sure i just became Yzma